dating someone because your lonely

Sylvia Dalton, 36 years old

About me:
I can go weeks or months by totally myself and be completely fine. It's when I'm lonely, however, that I start noticing that I'm by myself, and it's usually then that I reactivate my Tinder account again and start swiping. Nobody wants to be just a time-filler in someone else's life. When you're dating because you're lonely, you're more likely to consistently go missing in action from the relationship itself. This person isn't a priority to you, and you'll probably eventually feel guilty and dismissive of the relationship altogether. It's human to be lonely, and it's human to be flawed, but you do need to be accountable for the ways you treat people you are in an intimate relationships with. If any of these four signs sound like you, it is probably time for you dating someone because your lonely figure out how you can be alone, without being lonely:.

Your confidence takes a nose dive. Going through a cycle of terrible guys just to fill a void is only going to shatter your self-worth in the process. Ultimately, the more you allow these guys into your world, the more you start believing that all guys are disappointments, the lower you set your standards, and the less you value yourself. You start believing all guys are terrible. You end up in a cycle of loneliness. Feeling even lonelier when your relationship comes to a quick and messy end is super dating someone because your lonely to what you wanted to accomplish in the first place. Having to constantly start at square one with less and less confidence each time, only makes you feel even more lonely than when you started. You settle for the first guy to come along… for better or worse.

When I was with him my world felt better with him, at least for a portion of our relationship. He started becoming controlling, or maybe I just finally realized he was controlling and as much as it hurt me I had to let go. After the tears had slowed down I started finding myself going for guys I had no business going for.
More about dating someone because your lonely:
After continuous texting with the same guy for weeks, you've come to dating someone because your lonely that his repetitive AWOL nature may be due to one thing: He's only into you because he's lonely. It's easy to fall into a relationship with someone who may not be in it or into you for the right reasons. Sometimes, you're just a placeholder. Or, in this case, maybe your dude just has no one else to turn to. If you suspect that you might just be a time-filler for the guy you're currently seeing, your intuition may be trying to tell you something. Unfortunately, it may be time to find a better match. A tell-tale sign of a lonely guy is if he's always free. Stef Safran, a Chicago-based matchmakersays that if a guy claims he's not looking for a long-term relationship right now, you should believe him. There's a chance he may just be keeping you around to quell his loneliness.

Feeling lonely is a totally natural place to be in— in fact, I don't know anyone who hasn't found themselves struggling with feeling lonely at one time or another. But it's actually a good thing to struggle with. If you can stay single and deal with the loneliness, it's a huge learning opportunity. But far too many people jump into the first relationship they can find as soon as they feel lonely — and it's often not the right realtionship. It's really easy to do, so don't beat yourself dating someone because your lonely about it. But if you find yourself in a relationship just for the sake of being with someoneit's time to rethink it. So how do you know if you're in a relationship just because you're lonely? Here are the signs to look for. If you jump from relationship to relationship, that's a big warning sign. Instead, try to fill your time with a new activity or hobby that both pushes you and distracts from being lonely.

The mind is a funny thing, we can convince ourselves of almost anything. All it did was leave me feeling trapped and empty. I began questioning myself and trying to find an escape to the life I actually wanted to be living. A love that is born in loneliness is not a love that is destined for growth — the roots are weak and longevity is hopeless. You have to be ready, you have to find the strength within.
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